ADVANCING HEALTH-CARE PRACTICE

3.3     Susan's Story

Every time I went for health care, it was just about pressing charges and giving his name. And when you didn't want to do it was like they looked at you like 'Well, then, you deserve it. You deserve getting hurt'. So, it made me feel more guilt and shame. A lot of times, I think that people have mistaken me for being North American Indian and I do believe that it did play an important role. I hate to say it, but I think they're very prejudiced toward First Nations. And they have this idea of the way the way they are supposed to be, they're all 'alkies' or addicts. They all get beaten up and they deserve it. I really didn't feel like anyone cared.

Making it even worse was them saying 'Okay, you're just a bag of nerves', and they end up giving you pills, like Valium, or Ativan, just to keep you calm. Well, you're going through an emotional feeling and that feeling is okay, it should be okay. And all they try to do is keep you calm, so you basically become numb to everything instead of them actually trying to help you.

I remember one time just leaving, saying 'The hell with this, I don't want X-rays. I'm going. If you don't want to help me, I'm just leaving'. Because I really didn't think they were out to help me, they were out to get him. And to get him was just going to hurt me even more. And then it got to the point where you're scared to go to the hospital, even. A lot of times I remember just trying to take care of myself. I didn't want to go to the hospital. I didn't want to go through that harassment. So, I'd sooner suffer at home. I remember getting broken ribs once and I just suffered it myself. It was so painful, but I didn't even want to go in.