ADVANCING HEALTH-CARE PRACTICE

3.3     Susan's Story

There were times when I think putting me down was just an excuse to make him feel better about himself. And then I'd feel sorry for him. There must be something wrong for him to be doing this. Maybe I can make it better. It's not his fault. I started believing that. So, you keep trying harder and the harder you try, the worse it gets. But I was still trying to make it work, and having that dream of the white picket fence. Maybe I was staying for my son, maybe I was staying for him as well and also for the promises, you know, that this is going to change, it's going to get better. He would say, 'as soon as I quit my drugs everything will be better, it's the drugs that are making me do this'



For me, the drug use was for coping with it, and because I actually used with him. I figured that if I could make him happy or if I used with him he wouldn't go out and use with somebody else. And that it would keep him at home, and it would make him happy, and he wouldn't hurt me.

But a lot of times after he came off of his high I would get a beating because he wanted me to go out and get more for him and I wasn't going to do it. I would say, 'No. I've got to straighten out now because my son's going to come home tomorrow from his Grandma's, and I want to be able to care for him '. So, then that would all start again, the beatings. It got really nasty, very nasty.

Resource Link: Power and Control Wheel for Women's Substance Use

Resource Link: Substance Use and Violence Against Women in Relationships

Resource Link: Link Between Domestic Violence and Substance Use

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Rather than simply pathologizing the use of substances, it is useful to recognize that it has both benefits and costs. While we tend to focus on the costs of using substances and the benefits of stopping or reducing use, many people find it helpful in understanding and changing their use to look at the benefits and costs of both continuing and stopping their use.

Think about what Susan has told us about why she used substances, and fill in the blanks in the table below:

Click to complete the "Benefits and Costs of Substance Use" Exercise

Once you have finished typing in your answers, click on the upper left red square for more answers.

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